It's All About Me

I like to talk.  A lot. As of late though, I've begun realizing its not just any old talk, I like to talk about myself.   I have become the master of making it all about me. I can direct the flow of practically any conversation back to myself, and I have become quite skilled at this talent over the course of my life.  I like to be funny, I like to have other people enjoy talking to me, but at some point I have to reflect and tell myself to listen to the other people.  I think, to an extent, I just want to be relatable   I want my life to be an open book where people know I am open to anything they have to say and get an honest opinion.  I want to be the go-to gal.  The one you can go to when you need help, the one who will talk out your thoughts with you in a coffee house {preferably Starbucks}.  But as much as I want those things I can't help but want to say stuff!   Now, I don't want anyone to read this and think I'm a self centered jerk, {hopefully those who know me don't think that!} but I do want people to read this and know that in a world full of idols and distractions, it is so easy to put ourselves first; and I know first hand.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are a lot of reasons to talk about yourself in a conversation, to be able to contribute to the flow, to get a laugh, to avoid being a recluse... What I am talking about is the kind of self-centered conversation where you are just waiting on the other person to finish so you could get back to what you were saying.  Sometimes, I feel like we as a group just want a human sponge.  Someone who will stand there and listen to our complaints, our stories of those rude customers at our job, how we are dreading monday, blah blah blah.  But I think it takes real effort to sometimes take the time and the focus off ourselves  and to really listen to what the other person is saying.   We all want close relationships, to feel intimacy and connected with those around us, yet why do I feel like so many people miss that?  We need to be deep with each other.  Not rush each others sentences so that we can compete with each other over who gets the most talk time (what are we, presidential candidates?), or hold that thought, I just need to say hi to this friend over here, be back in a few, but to truly be present and let the other person speak what's on their heart.  Everyone wants to be heard, including me, but maybe if we show that we truly want to know someone, they will want to know us as well.  And BAM! You just got yourself a beautiful friendship.

Anti-feminism is not just for guys

On this blog I really want to focus on women. What we were created to be, and how we were created to act.  So here is my take on feminism.

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  I have spent too much time in my life believing lies that I bought about women. I went on a search between two extremes: being withdrawn within myself, trying to embody the "christian woman" who is meek and tender, to being overly loud and everywhere, trying to show the world that I could be likable as well.  Well, I wasn't satisfied with either.  As I got older, I began to see that men were not what I was told they were in youth group.  Every encounter proved to me that I was at fault with the way I was, and that I was too uptight, or that my expectations were too high.  No guy would be able to live up to my standards.  I was told that good men who love you will respect you. Good men will cherish you and hold you up to a Godly standard, yet whenever I dated I found something lacking.

Looking back, my hindsight is 20/20.  I can see where all of my fatal flaws were, and I can see that what I experienced wasn't truly love, but at the time, I was blind to the lies Satan was feeding me.  I read magazines, news articles, blogs and started to realize that I was failing as a woman.  I was too sensitive, so I needed to toughen myself up.  I was too needy, I needed to learn to take care of my problems on the inside.  I was too prudish, I should learn to settle with life and take what it gives me.  I tried so hard to make things work out, yet each time I was disappointed.  What was wrong with me?  Why couldn't they commit? Why is it, when a guy knows everything about me, he finds it lacking?

Well ladies I would just like to take a moment and share with you what I have learned the hard way.

Men are sinners, just like us.  They make mistakes, they go down the wrong path, just like us.  But while we are equal to them, we are soooooo different.  Women are made to be man's other half, so is it any surprise when we are everything they are not?  Through all the heartbreaks I experienced, and may yet experience, I have learned one crucial thing.  There is nothing wrong with the way that I am.  There is nothing wrong with the desire I feel to be loved and cared for.  My sensitivity? Its a gift from God. My needs?  Desires that were set in me dating all the way back to the Garden.  My standards?  The things I should have waited for.   God made me beautiful and He wants me to use that beauty to glorify him.  While I am still waiting for the 'one' I know that everything I have now is enough.  God is so romantic and I am learning that day by day.

Feminism will tell you that you need to be able to compete with man.  That we are equal and that we are not treated with respect we deserve.  That we are being chained to the kitchen and that we are being forced to make sammiches for the rest our lives.  NO! Not true.  We ARE equal, but we are different, and its beautiful. Don't aspire to be like a man ladies, because we have something unique to offer this world.  Single, dating or married we have a obligation to fulfill our calling as women.  And no, I don't necessarily mean cooking dinner.  We have an obligation to be women of beauty, women of character, and women of integrity, to show tenderness and mercy.   That, my lovely friends, is a much higher calling than any other things feminism tells us to do. So know that there is nothing wrong with what you want.  You are beautiful and loved for what you are.  

Greetings!  This is my new blog page and, {hopefully} will stay my page for a while until I get the urge to change it again lol, which may be sooner rather than later. ;)   I have started fresh on this blog, I have gone back and deleted my previous posts, and previous pictures because they are no longer applicable to my life.  I want to change the focus of my blog, because, well, the focus of my life has changed.  If only it were as easy to do that in life, to just delete whatever you wanted with the click of a button!   Not really sure if anyone cares about this blog at all but what the heck, I'm gonna have fun with it. So, like I said, my focus in life is really changing and I'm going to attempt to use this blog as a place where I can keep track of my life and share in all the different experiences I have. God is so good, guys; and I want to make sure I bring him all the glory I can through sharing the small (and big) things he does in my life.   Now, in the past I've proven to be a very lazy blogger, and while I can't promise that wont happen again lol I am going to try to get myself plugged into a social media that can benefit others!! My hours on Facebook sure don't do anything for anyone ;)   Feel free to enjoy these random photographs I took with Instagram.  

I should get paid for my skill, I know...